家庭是个大课堂

蓝田日暖

骤然降温，穿着单裤出门，回来后鼻塞了。

公园门口有几个小摊位，卖着馕、烧饼、棉花糖和脆皮烤肠，有不少小朋友拿着彩色的棉花糖，都是原始形状，这让我想起了短视频平台上看到的棉花糖大师，他是真的把棉花糖搞成了艺术，有各种形状和各种色彩搭配。往前走着，一辆小电炉急速擦过我身边，我正想翻白眼，想想--说是擦过其实也相隔几分米，又不是真撞上了，就当他是个自信爆棚、技术到位的骑手吧。

前天点的外卖迟到了1个小时，过程中，我不耐烦地催促了一遍，又后悔了，想起外卖小哥其实压力挺大的，并不是他不想及时送到，肯定是有什么原因导致他延迟送餐。老妈询问的时候，我把这话说了一遍，还谈到如果客户投诉的话，估计是要扣他钱的。“哦，那你别投诉哦。”她立刻提醒我，我皱了下眉，心想我是这种人嘛。炸鸡到之前，我已经提前做好心理准备，打算好好享受这顿晚餐，不管他们有何评价——谁叫他们对外卖的评价总是很低呢。

我拿过她的手机和身份证，一通操作，纯属白搭。本想给她在中国银行app上申请个电子账户，结果要求绑定的一类储蓄卡不合要求，她只有一张本地银行的储蓄卡，人家不认同呢。“所以说，你还是该办张工行、农行或建行的卡，农行很近的，十分钟就走到了。”我把东西还给她。刚给她网购了什么俄罗斯蜂王浆，算是知道那些短视频网站的广告受众是谁了，反正她经常刷着刷着就会被吸引，要下单买点什么，不过基本限于价格不贵的食物、营养品和厨房用具。下单付款之类的步骤，通常是我代劳的，也想过教会他们，但试过一两次，是我自己不耐烦放弃了，后来想到每个人都有不擅长、需要别人帮助的事，不会某件事并没有什么大不了的，就转变心态，直接动手操作了，即便我离他们较远，也不必担心，因为我相信这个世界上多的是愿意提供此种举手之劳的人。再者，如果这件事真有那么重要，他们一定学得会。

。。。。。。

蓝田日暖

纪录片和大多数vlog不同，纪录片致力于在四十分钟到六十分钟的时间里尽可能多地为你提供知识、信息和故事，它们生动有趣，同时在语言上又是精简的，尽量围绕主题，不发散，所以我很喜欢看纪录片。因为大脑处理信息的速度加快后，我通常会1.25倍速或1.5倍速看。如果我的重点在于更高效地学习和吸收自己想要的新知识，那么另类形式的压缩版纪录片会是更好的选择，尽管原本的纪录片会有更多的细节和视觉影像。当我保持这样的目的时，我就会点击“万物有光故事会“这类的频道，里面一些纪录片我其实看过原版，通常原版是英文的，而这个频道的故事都已经翻译为中文，由一个好听的声音做旁白，因此我甚至可以一边做其他事，一边听这些故事。

昨晚一口气看了三四个故事：巴布亚新几内亚部落民众的原生态生活，全球各地的松鼠以及它们对坚果的痴迷，怀孕的母狼跋涉万里终为自己和幼崽觅得一方安全港湾，等等。时不时我也会对名相有一种执着，具体说就是，我希望对新事物有基本的概念，我希望能比较清晰地记得它们的外貌，明确说出它们叫什么名字，所以昨天松鼠那个视频我连看两遍，至少知道了体型超大的印度巨松鼠，超级可爱、脸颊鼓鼓囊囊的花栗鼠，翼装飞行达鼠北美飞鼠，毛发亮眼的欧亚红松鼠，在松鼠界长相平平无奇的圆尾黄鼠/圆尾地松鼠。

比较搞笑的就是加州地松鼠和红顶啄木鸟之战，为了偷窃后者的劳动果实，加州地松鼠鬼鬼祟祟，偷偷摸摸，想着趁其不备、出其不意，搞到美味的橡实，往往会被发现，被胖啄一顿。想着啄都被啄了，不多拿几颗岂不吃亏，于是硬是用胖脸接啄木鸟的尖嘴，千辛万苦光明正大地偷盗。

蓝田日暖

老妈买的厨房用具使用频率还挺高，不像我，有些东西买了纯为了积灰——没错，我说的就是咖啡机和投影仪。

她用绞肉机把猪肉搅碎，大葱洗了切了，拌成馅料，打算包大馄饨和饺子给小家伙吃。小家伙也偏食，她喜欢猪肉，我不喜欢。正好，我晚上就想吃方便面。

我和她在楼下转了一圈，买了冰淇淋，回家的路上遇上一只很有气势的狸花猫，我走到它面前，它蹲了下来，我矮下身子与它对视，宝石般的眼睛很酷。她站在一边，又好奇，又害怕，害怕是因为她昨晚刚做了个与猫有关的恶梦。"害怕就站远一点吧，狸花猫凶起来还是很厉害的，你不要靠太近。"虽然我叫她站远一点，自己却没离开，因为此刻的我没有任何害怕的情绪，也不相信它会攻击我。若此刻我害怕，我决不会逞勇。

下午，小娃儿也来了，两姐弟一聚到一起，就有了自己的排外氛围，我挺高兴，给他们拍了几张照片，就去忙自己的事了。一个小时后，趁我不注意，俩人凑到我电脑前，说是要看飞驰人生。

“你不是看过吗？我陪你看的，好吗？说，你到底想干啥？”他笑嘻嘻看着我，说是要玩游戏。我拿出备用手机，登录微信，找到小程序后递给他。再看她一眼，要公平，是吧？给她找到外婆手机，找到她要的游戏。两个游戏天差地别，他的是打斗升级游戏，她的是化妆打扮游戏。他们走了，我又清静了。

吃饭时间到，我收走手机，他算是打满足了，对我的行为没有异议，很快跳到我面前，开始叽里呱啦、滔滔不绝地讲他的游戏，我没打算打断，笑眯眯看他、听他讲，虽然我没有听懂。他安装了自动过滤系统，爷爷奶奶的话一个字进入不了，但当我问他他老爹给不给他玩这个游戏时，他就回答得无比快，告诉我他在他老爹的手机上已经玩到较高级别了，在我手机上只能从头开始。好吧，从头玩起照样这么激动，这游戏是多有魅力啊。他有自动过滤机制，我有自动忽视系统，差不多，但还是他强一点，他是我师傅。

蓝田日暖

Re-ignite the love by sorta standing in the other's shoes

If I were her, I'd appreciate:

She is frank. She just expresses what's on her mind, about what she likes, dislikes, can do or can't do. She knows clearly her desires and preferences.

She naturally follows what interest her. She can't be easily pursuaded by adults to give up on what she truly likes. Good for her!

She is confident. She feels that she deserves goodies. She just expresses what she wants, and happily receive them with appreciation, but if she is refused, she wouldn't throw a tantrum by crying or lying on the floor, instead, she accepts that, she makes peace. She continually attracts those who genuinely wish her the best and take the initiative to make her life more satisfying, including a lot of strangers.

Her existence really opens up adults around her. She offers them a lot of opportunities to grow, become more mature and learn to be emotionally stable. She presents them the opportunity to be more and more unconditionally loving.

She becomes more and more independent, doing more and more things by herself.



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Whoa!

It's just so clear weather I am in love in this moment or I am just doing things out of responsibility. Being honest is always the important first step.

It seems that right now, they just can't give me any positive emotions/emotional values because I haven't paid attention to them in a positive way usually for a long time. I might feel nothing beforehand, but when we get together, I feel I am bothered, my time is taken up, I feel better when I am alone. And unluckily, I find no charisma in them or meaningful memories about them for me to appreciate and love them here and now. It's just too big a jump. But I know what I am gonna do in the long run--I must find ways to appreciate and love them again, for my own sake first and foremost. Because I know, in essence, I am a lover, at least I hold love for them.

I know when I make a strong decision and often the desire must be fulfilled. It's just it may take some time, and so I need to be patient and continually trust. Trust, and trust.

蓝田日暖

"I don't want to keep her. She is useless." The woman looked at her daughter who just came back from the mental health "hospital" and told the staff, so she had to go back to the jail-like hospital where a thousand girls and women of mental illness lived. All three women were refused by their families because they were burdens and troubles though they already got to stable states.

I am glad that there are still people who take care of those so-called useless out of responsibility or love. There are people who are willing to send help in somebody's hour of need. I am both the beneficiary of people's care and the one who is willing to help.

I was not forgotten because I was not functioning for some time. Parental love created a very beneficial environment for me to quiet down, relax, ponder and re-gain self empowerment. While in others' stories, the benefactor or Samaritan could be one's sibling or even just a stranger. I watched a story on bilibili in which the man got into deep depression because of losing his wife who was ill for a long time and he couldn't do anything other than preparing meals for his two little daughters. And then he just fell asleep on his bed. He cut off all social relationships, not receiving any phone calls. His elder sister couldn't reach him, felt very worried, and then just made a big decision. She and her husband drove from an extremely faraway province, found him, managed and packed all needed stuff and brought her brother and two nieces back to where she lived. From then on, he got a foothold to gradully recover and be able to better take care of his daughters. (Tears just came down when I remembered this story.)

As for me, the memory of my parents' taking care of me gently and patiently had been often the impetus to re-activate my love for them though I might be angry with them minutes ago. They just wanted me to get better though they might not be very hopeful then. They just wanted me to feel a little better, to eat a little better and rest a little better...

蓝田日暖

她乖乖地把脑袋搁我肩膀上，打量着四周的景致。

在通往书店的路上，我们停了下来，两只家养的黄猫从店里出来，长得很像，但一大一小。我转个身，好让她看个仔细。大的那只好奇地走到绿色窨井盖上，那里破了个洞。它好奇地把白色肉垫怼进去，竟然成功了，但也只能进去一点点，再深就不行了。它把爪子拔出来又伸进去，两次后就没了兴趣，利索地躺倒在地，露出了肚子。

我们进了书店。一个礼拜前匆匆来过，但没仔细看，只知道重新装修了，差点找不到楼梯。今天再度走访，才发现二楼开辟了专门的学习休息区，由好多舒适的桌椅构成，靠窗还有一整排的类吧台桌，下面有插座。哈！与咖啡店相比，它有一大优势，那就是安静，约定俗成，这儿就得安静，没人会外放音乐或短视频。也许，我以后可以来这坐坐，毕竟才十分钟路程。

我抱小家伙在一张沙发椅上坐了几分钟，缓解肩膀的微酸感，旁边那张桌上，几个美女正在画画，氛围极好。

回到家，拿起绿茶喝了一口，看着清爽的茶汤，我不禁想到一件事：从出生到现在，我从没有切身体会过缺水是什么感觉。我生活的地方总有丰富的水资源，小时候住在农村，还能喝到甘甜的山泉和井水。

额，我刚看了个纪录片，讲的是巴基斯坦的缺水危机。有一家人正焦急等待半个月一次、一次个把小时的放水时间，往往是在午夜，他们拿出所有的桶罐瓶，努力地在有限的时间内尽可能储水。即便如此，十五天还是太久，水还是不够用。至于水的质量，就不要奢求了，洗了皮肤痒还是得用。

我呢，算是又有了新的视角去看待自己很少在意的日常所需。天气冷的时候，我会洗很长时间的热水澡，从不担心水不够，或者突然停水。洗碗的时候，为了不留一点洗洁精残余，我会用急速的水流把碗碟冲好多遍。小时候，每个夏天黄昏，只要不下雨，我们就会去清澈且水量丰沛的河里游泳。我还经常潜水到底下摸石头。

。。。。。。

蓝田日暖

网易云里根据我的听歌历史会推荐歌单，就实验性质地听，不合胃口的就划过，好听的就点亮红心，几天后小结一下，喜欢的歌单列表里新增的大多是李玟的歌，而且是比较老的那种——她最早的几张专辑，刚出来我就很喜欢，现在又听，还是爱。既有悲伤情歌，也有好几首热烈奔放、充满活力的歌，听的时候，简直觉得她的声音化作了最灿烂的笑脸，两边唇角则扬到了天边。她那甜丝丝的歌声中充满了对这世界的爱。

还点赞了一首更老的歌，恰克与飞鸟的You are free。这首歌最适合的场景是：我在小城主街道夜走时。我的身边是柔和饱满的香樟树，粉、白、粉白相间的重瓣月季花，饭后悠哉散步的行人，You are free在背景中缓缓流淌，使本来就自然生动的景致更添了几分诗意。我很少听歌词，不管是中文歌还是外语歌；我主要听旋律或者说氛围，这其实省却了很多麻烦，因为歌词不合旋律、破坏美感的情况不在少数。

最近在追一篇文，一开始作者大概是想写一个浪漫又带点酸涩的故事，结果写到第三章就暴露了她的搞笑本质，人物的对话逐渐靠近段子。坐在租来的五菱宏光上听歌，正听得上头，歌声戛然而止，一人问道，
“怎么回事，怎么没了？”
“哦，没有会员，vip歌曲只能听60秒。”
“那开会员啊！”
“额，这样。你帮我看四个广告，四个广告可以换一天vip。”
“。。。。。。”

我真想推荐这位穷兮兮的男大去下个中银app，时间凑得好，一分钱可以换7天网易云的vip呢。随后，我又想：这不挺好。至少人家坦坦荡荡，把穷和节俭展示给你看，接不接受，你自己决定。人家现在是穷，但人家长得帅啊，所以我想见色起意，无语归无语，颜狗还是会接受他的。

在快走一个小时后，我停在了正新鸡排前，决定买烤香肠，确切地说，我觉得那应该是淀粉肠。再次见到玻璃门后面的那位小哥，我总是会有那么一点感慨，比起之前的那位店员，这位小哥的情绪实在稳定，即便在非常忙碌时，依旧淡定从容，游刃有余。简而言之，在一份容易令人厌烦或疲倦的工作中，他保持着良好的情绪，挺厉害。他这么礼貌地对待顾客，作为顾客的我，就想非常礼貌地回应他，谢谢他。也许，他发自内心地觉得这工作还可以吧，如果真是如此，那么他的一切表现就可以理解了。做自己喜欢的事，做自己觉得满意的事，人的言行举止自然是轻松愉快松弛的，对人的态度也自然是友好的。

。。。。。。

蓝田日暖

I follow my interests.

I have been watching house tours full of curiosity. The estate enthusiast takes the audience to the lake mansion, to the villa on the mountain top and so on. He gives professional and passionate introduction. I take in the beauty and meanwhile, I am busy in learning new existences in the area of housing.

I write down the new words, many of which are specific items inside and outside the houses. I learn about doors--pocket doors, sliding doors, pivot doors and push (to open) doors. I enjoy abundant fire features and water features. It's my first time of knowing words like powder rooms, water closets, floating vanities, and putting greens.

I like those exquisitely designed marble floors. I searched about marble inlay flooring. And I like those unique walls--wood panelled walls and light brown suede walls. It's fun to see unlimited choices for sofas, dinning tables, coffee tables and end tables. Unlimited shapes. Unlimited color combinations. Unlimited materials.

The scale of every displayed house is so impressive that foldable furniture or amenities are never needed, except that they demonstrate attractive creativity. While in one of my favorite Japanese shows, creating small-sized and foldable furniture is a must. Both programs are interesting to me, but in different ways.

When the house is surrounded by beauty, then you, in most cases, just want to bring that in with a lot of skylights, glass walls and doors, and picture windows. Not just the beauty but also the light which also plays an important role in highlighting the attractive views. Some people like me just want to stay in bright spaces as soon as our eyes open.

I like the spaciousness I see. Spaciousness gives me good feelings. And roaming around in spacious beauty is fun. Usually I like light or lighthearted colors, but temporarily, I can like bright colors and dark colors too. After picking several main light colors for the living room, one can enhance the liveliness by brighter and more passionate colors in small sections such as choosing specific art pieces on the walls. I see some paintings with interesting tones, like purple, bright red, and gold yellow. I am not interested in fireplaces, but those water features are wonderful--they are robust with lovely sounds and tranquil auras. I like that two-in-one water feature in the family room: It creates slight streams on the wall and when one wants to enjoy a movie, a screen would appear, covering the water view, to fulfill the desire. It becomes a TV. I like cream colored carpets with poetic patterns under the coffee tables. I like the island (kitchen) with a bar counter and high stools right next to a coffee making corner.

A mini garden with flower beds, grass, a big pear tree and a seating area would be nice. Especially when the birds and squirrels visit. Put some food there for them to enjoy. Hear them sing and get amazed at the cuteness they naturally show. Only freshness and fragrance come into the nose, while the breeze gently caresses one's skin. Go, squat and look closely at those slender flowers with contrasting colored petals. Feel their textures by fingers: This is fluffy and warm, but this is smooth.