家庭是个大课堂

蓝田日暖

Life subjects that make my life more fulfilling.

I am glad to FEEL INTERESTED in stories of abundant genres and in different forms. I choose and watch/listen to/read them based upon my present emotional states and intentions. When I feel bored, mind-exciting stories such as crime or detectives stories could make my brains more alive and fresh. And often, because of my stable, strong love of a cp, novels about them can easily attract me and enliven me and most of them are fluffy romantic stories. Putting storyline aside, I can also reap pleasure by exploring the multi-faceted characters and the superb acting skills of those vetaran actors in movies and dramas--these aspects themselves could make a movie or drama with weak plots still watchable. It's interesting to see how just one actor could greately enhance the attraction of a drama to the audience; I am talking about Zhang Songwen and The Hunter.

Stories are multi-functional. As I ponder upon the characters, I have been gleaning my favorites in terms of human personality traits. Some, I wanna incorporate into my being, and others, I wanna see more in people around me. Sometimes, the settings or the backgrounds of the stories would either show me what I desire now, or lead me to appreciating where I am now. For example, a story happened 40 or 50 years ago helped me to genuinely apprciate my belongings and where I am now: I appreciate hte abundant food and snacks and beverages available to me. I appreciate that I can easily find interesting contents on the Internet. Iappreciate that I can easily move around in different physical spaces. I appreciate that I can easily put many lovely elements together to create the life experience I like: I can walk to the cafe, order a cup of hot coffee, open my laptop and start my music app, and then enjoy my thinking and writing while sipping coffee from time to time. I can always stay in comfy physical environments, cool in summers, and warm in winters. I can always stay in extremely bright environments...

I am glad to be A MUSIC LOVER. I LOVE music. I like the abundant, unique emotions/feelings/atmospheres/matching images and stories music can easily cause/ignite/inspire within my mindbody. I feel blessed to have music existing in my life every day. From time to time, I would quiet my mind, and fully immerse myself in the rhythm of the music, feeling the obvious and subtle reactions in my body. Life becomes MORE BEAUTIFUL because of music. Often, I describe music as beautiful, though words fail to express my strong appreciation of music. In this unlimited ocean of music, there are laid-back, lighthearted songs, dramatic, desperate songs, creepy and addictive songs like 囍, sexy, sensual songs, inspring and energizing songs.. You name it.

I am glad to be the EXPLORER of INTERESTING LIFE THEMES. I explore subjects like relationships, how to live a passionate life, finances, inspirations and intuition, love, etc. I like opening up and having new beneficial beliefs and ready to change them as time goes by. Being the explorer, trivial things could be enticing to me as I decide to probe into them to see weather I could see them from new lights. Sometimes, I would be guided to some memories which turned hate to allowance, patience and care and willingness to support and love, real quick. This desire, this aspect or identity of mine, spreads more bright colors in the trapstry of my life. And it excites my mind to explore, to ponder, to seek for solutions.

I liking thinking about and interacting with people in my life, especially the new generation. I like remembering their cute faces. I like sorta standing in their physical shoes in order to understand them more. I like finding wellbeing of abundant kinds in their lives on their behalves. I like believing in their bright future, their unlimited potential and their state of being always supported and assisted. I persitently enhance and practice these beliefs...

蓝田日暖

具体的笑点会从何而来，在前一刻自然是不知道的。

我不是为了笑点去逛某个论坛的，但首页的一张图片吸引了我的注意，标题是：电视剧的翻译又搞事了。搞事？！是什么事呢，好奇的我点了进去，看完帖子，差点没笑死。中文原句是：那只是闺蜜之间的口嗨而已。英文把它翻译为：It's just oral sex between best friends. 毫无疑问，翻译领域里埋藏着数不清的笑点，趁热打铁，于是我立刻搜索了相关帖子，好延长笑得想死的独特感受。果然发现不少，比如宋代的男男女女在不知道耶稣是谁的情况下，时不时感慨——Jesus! 或者Jeez！

我甚至在微博这个很容易让人上火的世界里找到了不少笑点。在这个世界里，我只关心几个人的动态，偶尔会去他们的超话看看，里面有人会认真搜索各种相关消息，包括他人评论，营销号乱七八糟的短帖或长帖。小道消息随心所欲塑造着人设，一个月前还是穷兮兮、前途未卜的小演员，一转眼竟成了隐藏的富二代，而且还一掷千金只为博君一笑。这人设迭代真是，一日不登录就赶不上趟了。可忙坏了一众厨子，人设一变，故事不得变嘛，画画的时候，着装、配饰和背景不得变嘛，在下个人设出来之前，不得抓紧嘛……

蓝田日暖

和小家伙看了飞驰人生2。老弟买了两杯霸王茶姬的奶茶，我喝热的，他喝凉的，结果都不爱喝，都嫌太淡了。进去之前，买了桶爆米花和QQ糖，基本是他消灭的。

我想看这部电影吗？其实不想，没有兴趣，纯粹是为了和小家伙待一会。这几年，主动想进电影院看的电影只有一部，那就是封神。小家伙倒是看得挺认真，挺高兴。每次发现笑点笑起来的时候，他就会立刻扭头看我，然后我也对着他笑。一场电影下来，这种几乎同步的相视一笑场景出现了n次——说同步并不准确，其实我是慢于他的，我是响应他的。我真正感到好笑的地方只有几处。如果我是电影制作方，小家伙一定会是我喜欢的观众：他的反应多及时多热烈啊！很多笑点他都get到了。

他是个快乐搞笑的家伙。实际上，他们一家子笑点都比较低，他妈妈温温柔柔地骂着骂着，突然就会发现一个笑点，咧嘴笑起来，搞得旁人一脸懵逼。有一次，我问起小家伙的同桌，他报了个名字，显然是个女生。他妈立刻插嘴：“你现在自己一个人坐的，好吗？她和你坐的时候，你老是把橡皮掉她脚边，她被你搞得烦了，要求老师换座位，你忘了吗？“

也许，父母笑点低对他是有影响的。老弟曾经也许现在还是周星驰的忠实粉，印象中，他甚至能把唐伯虎点秋香一些场景中的对话完整背出来，也不知道看了多少遍。

。。。。。。

蓝田日暖

Zero in on the present/chosen frame with extremely great focus, no negative past, no worrisome future.

Pick a scene, be it a memory, something in the present, or something possible in the future, which feels good, and see it as sorta a static, unmoving object, with no past or future interfering with it at all. Focus uopn it until I really feel the good feeling(s) in my body and then just drop the scene/picture/short gif/etc. A wonderful mind practice to feel good.

In the cafe, on the table, a plate of spaghetti with delicious smoky chicken, bacon, seasoned by thousand island sauce. The noodles are chewy. The sauce is perfect to my taste buds. Enough vegetables--pickles, corn niblets, broccoli--to offer nutrition and benefit my body.

We are laid-back, lighthearted and happy. We laugh easily. We have our unique sense of humor. We have fun together. The experienced ones are happy teachers, meaning they like teaching and guiding. They are extremely patient and allowing and mastery of efficient ways to teach and guide. They don't buy into old fashioned teaching styles. They never see punishment as a desired way to inspire. They inspire, not motivate. They trust. They hold the vision of their students, persisently. Clarity and inspirations ooze from them. The students happily and passionately learn, ask and seek. They find perfectly matching teachers. Both the process and the result are extremely wonderful. Passionate teachers and passionate students/learners create a prefect duo.

My mind works faster. My brains work faster. And there is no limit as for how speedy my mind can work in the future. I like knowing this. Now, I watch/read/listen and understand contents faster and faster. I can speed up the process of watching/reading/listening. I can do more interesing things than before during a specific time segment based upon the present speeds I choose. I like knowing the unlimited potential of human body. The strength, speed, flexibility, beauty and complexity. You name it. Look at those marvelous athletes. I feel blessed to have this wonderful body which is clear, flexible, robust, energetic, efficient, and intuitive.

I am interested in a lot of things. I am a selective sifter. I input specific keywords to find what I love watching. For creations I love, I just favorite them or leave appreciative comments. I think and write. I investigate my belief system and change some of them when they are not fit anymore. I love music and stories, and keep on savoring them. I hang around with my beloved ones especially the kids. I am passionate about being passionate in my life. I like training my focus. I like being unconditionally lighthearted and so I would make the best of where I am to see weather I can enhance this ability. I like beauty of abundant kinds.

I have a good, long laugh because of viral songs sung by Liao Shicheng. The lyrics of his famous songs are just so hilarious, and then they get to used widely to cps. Now people would ask him to sing these songs with customerized lyrics, an interesting and often funny business.

蓝田日暖

I was watching Rush Hour 3, almost finishied it but had to stop when a dozen minutes left. I lost interest; the story didn't feel attractive enough for me to get to the end. The fights looked cool, and I knew the staff and the crew spent quite some thoughts and energy in designing and materizing them. It's just: I have no interest in patiently watching fighting scenes now. Now, not forever, and I think I will again be interested at some point. Still, I appreciated the parts where the driver appeared.

Then I watched another movie and this time, I watched every bit of it, and my mind kept on working. I was eager to know what would happen. And some of the characters were quite relatable though they were all in extreme life situations most people would not get involved. But the audience could still understand them, standing in their physical shoes, for under the crazy facades, there were still normal, logical, understandable affections and motives.

In that spiritual healing camp, beautiful words were said. The environments and atmosphere seemed allowing and loving. People wear flowing, white robes. They sit together and sing songs expressing their gratitude. Demonstrations were vividly made. Alirght. I believe that some people in some states could get soothing and upliftment in similar places with purely good intentions. But for me, from my point of view, it's so boring. I don't wanna stay there at all. It's just not the place I would prefer now. But maybe I would like to get some rest there if I am very low in my emotions. However, the one in the movie was created for the purpose of purely controlling and getting money. The leader and his accomplices didn't care about the wellbeing of the people at all. They pua. They harm. They exploit. They kill. Finally, C got unhinged with bullets.

I like the multi-facets of human personalities in stories. The cop might be revengeful. But weather he was or not in the middle, at last, he treated the one he kept searching with compassion, though one of his eyes got blinded in the process of chasing. He went talking to him and did him a favor, helping him to fulfill his last desire. I respect him. He didn't need to do that, but he did, softly.

Both characters and plots are thoroughly designed and explored. I like it.

蓝田日暖

春天的气息可轻松感知到，虽不那么容易形容。

黄昏，走在安静的街道上，迎面而来的风，既不热也不冷，是一种纯纯的舒适感。行道树不常青，依旧光秃秃的，围栏内的草木却已苏醒，灌木中开着一簇簇黄色的小花，一半铺在了地上。大步前行，仰头看天，左右转看周围景致，配上今天无比契合的会员雷达歌单，全然的自在惬意包围了我。不想用刻意的思考去打扰这种沉浸式氛围，此时此刻，我只想被动地享受这微妙的幸福。

白玉兰和紫玉兰已盛放，满满当当挂在枝头，不知匮乏为何物。一到江边，风就变急了，持续不断地在江面掀起一缕缕小而密集的波浪，和前几天的风平浪静形成了鲜明的反差。这面碧玉湖，不管是不动如镜，还是涟漪及边，都有它独特的魅力。退潮后，小码头再现，但今天没有渔船，没有织着毛衣卖虾蟹的渔娘，也没有倚在栏杆上俯瞰人间烟火的路人，连江鸥也不见了踪影。只有岸边杨柳，利落地垂下一伞伞细丝，刚柔并济。我靠坐在椅子上，眼前是微晃的柳枝和起伏的江水，眼角余光则是一抹夕阳。

。。。。。。

蓝田日暖

我积极主动地拿过手机，把老妈需要的应用都下了，然后给她在某医院挂了个号，用的是我手机上的挂号软件，里面有我们三人的账号，谁去医院，就切换成谁的号。

毫无疑问，这段时间，在这类事上，我变得耐心了许多，甚至主动了许多。实事求是地说，在某些类型的互动中，我很容易不耐烦，尤其是在我正干着别的事时。这时，突然有人过来问些什么，交流时间与顺畅度超出预期时，我就可以非常清晰地感知到自己身体上的烦躁，以及天人交战——因为还有一个声音教育我应该耐心，应该善解人意。但事情已到那一步，耐心已然处于下风，心有余而力不足，我通常只能带着不耐烦的语气继续交流。现在回忆起来，几乎没人会对我说：不就问你个问题吗？不就请你帮个小忙吗？脾气那么差干什么？这么不耐烦干什么？大概原因是，当人们去找他人帮助时，一定程度上已做好了心理准备，想对方也许会不乐意，但为了获得需要的结果，要不就忽视对方的态度，要不就是忍、虽然不舒服。

尽管如此，这样的情况不算频繁，因为通常我有调整的时间。一旦调整好了，答应下来的事，我都会心甘情愿地完成，因为我内心依旧有乐于助人的基本心态。对于想要助人、喜欢助人的来说，接受帮助的人，寻求帮助的人，不正在帮助他们吗？完美的搭档。所以在我心里最佳的组合就是：需要某方面帮助的人完美匹配上想要给出那方面帮助的人，彼此尊重，彼此欣赏，彼此受益。完美！我就喜欢自己的生活里充满这样的组合。这样的组合对双方都是一种幸福。

没有人是万能的，每个人都会在某些方面需要他人的帮助，这当然包括我。当我需要帮助时，我希望帮助我的人是真心愿意帮助我，耐心而有爱，并且在这过程中体验到他/她喜欢的感觉——充实感，成就感，满足感，欣慰与欣喜，等等。可以说，我在某些方面，和我父母在另一些方面一样，希望得到完美搭档的帮助。而我，可以变成他们的完美搭档，当我意识到这些事于我只是举手之劳，这些事对他们来说很有价值，意识到我真心希望他们生活顺畅，意识到我确实能做到耐心有爱。

说起完美组合或搭档，我一下子就想到了不久前的那件事。那天我正在想着小家伙，期待与他见面，带他去哪里逛逛，让他做些自己想做的事。大概几分钟后，老弟发来信息，问我愿不愿意带小家伙看电影，那部电影他俩已经看过，想看别的。哈！岂不是完美时机，完美组合。我当然立刻答应下来，在开场前二十分钟，我让他在我的手机上玩小游戏，顺便买了爆米花和QQ糖，继而我们在影院里度过了愉快的两个小时。电影他看得很开心，每发现一个笑点就会转头与我相视一笑。。。。。。

不是完美组合的情形，通常我会说不，何必相互折磨，或折磨自己呢？除非必要，我真不想把时间用于不喜欢的事上。我希望大家都能找到自己的完美搭档，爱唱K的聚一块，爱爬山的相互约着爬山，热情的老师遇见热情的学生……

蓝田日暖

Reading a new chapter of a novel, I got irritated, real quick. WTH! How about communicating more directly? Stop beating around the bush, please! An interesting response within me. I knew I wouldnot feel like this in other situations. It's just, at that moment, I preferred concision and coming straight to the point. So, I decided to leave them alone, knowing they had their reasons, while I chose to focus upon what I liked at that moment.

So, wondering what my cousin wanted to talk to me that day, I didn't guess much, because I quickly took the initiative and asked  him on the wechat: What's the matter? Then we had a long interesting and meaningful conversation.

As I looked at the chat frame, a though appeared in my mind, and so I acted upon it. I said to my sister: How about sending my niece here on the weekends. We can have a good time together. We can have some fun outdoors.

Thinking about a friendship, there were complicated thoughts before. I decided to cool them down by not giving it much attention. And then it evolved to a point that I decided that I was alright if its atmosphere between us was lightheartedness. No more, no less. Pure lightheartedness was enough. I could still go and connect with this attitude, though I didn't have any strong desire to do so. I didn't feel any strong desire to make it more intimate and more colorful in positive ways. I feel that we are just not a perfect match now which can contain long, mutually beneficial togetherness. Good for both. I had met her on streets accidently several times, and what's active in me was lightheartedness. We said hello to each other, exchanging short words, and then just parted away. I feel glad that I didn't waste my time on it with convoluated thoughts and emotions. Instead, I chose to do what truly interested me. It's still beneficial to remember some expereinces with her which oozed lightheartedness. Yes, I am stubborn about the "lightheartedness."

I like crystal-clear clarity on important subjects in my life. I will forever be a music lover. I will forever be a story lover. I like encouraging myself and people in my life to be independent, confident and happy. I highly value mutual respect, allowance, understanding, stability, appreciation, willingness and happiness of uplifting others, humor, having fun together, doing what we love, passionate teaching and learning, efficiently and joyfully co-creation in relationships. This morning, I heard an interesting conversation between my mother and my father. My mother suggested my father invite his friends over to dinner, for they treated him so well. And my father considered her wrist condition, thinking the dinner could be prepared later when she fully rocovers. And they didn't need to eat at home. Then he drove her to work. Glad to see that they care for each other and support each other genuinely.

...

蓝田日暖

My little niece came, becoming more beautiful and robust now. After a short while, my cousin knocked at the door and she felt so happy seeing my niece. I was very sure she thought my niece as very beautiful because she had just expressed this feeling on my brother's wechat. She held her gently and soon the crying baby fell into sleep. I liked the difference between us. She definitely is more a family person than I am. She likes connecting with family members including her aunts and uncles. She got us a box of snacks.

This afternoon, I spent some time visiting all my bank apps. The most interesting effect was my mind became more sharp and clear in the process. I made it as efficient as I could. I got some Wechat and Alipay reductions and I got some JD-E cards and coupons I could use to top up my phone. Just login in, search and click. So easy. Just a while later, I watched a video about Egyptian economy. It is collapsing. Immediately, I got interested and I wanted to explore this subject lately, which was wonderful , because my mind likes exploring probing new interesting themes.

The boredom subsided when I thought about the lack of food and other material stuff in some countries. At least, I can appreciate where I live and what I own. I am living a comfortable, convenient, abundant, free flowing life. I feel abundant because I get to do what I like or what I MYSELF choose to do most of the time, while all physical needs are easily met. I stay, rest and sleep in safe and comfy physical environemnts. I have access to unlimited lovely Internet resources--music, movies, dramas, wonderful speeches, novels, useful information, funny shorts, etc. I like watching movies that really interest me weather causing me to laugh hysterically or cry ugly. Actually the most impressive movies I watched in the past month were all a bit dark. I shed tears when watching Wolf Hiding, even though I already skipped some minutes to avoid seeing the death of one of the leads. A mysterious man killed an important gang member. The beginning immediately attracted me to ask questions such as: Why? He is an assassin? Or he takes revenge on this guy? What's the reason? ... I must admit that from time to time I still like watching crime or detective stories especially those hard cases with a lot of doubtful points to tackle. Why? Because my mind was excited by the unknown and the process of logical reasoning or just guessing or intuitively answering. Sometimes, I would even listen to 大佬K vividly tell the stories when I feel bored with my eyes closed and some time later my mind would be stimulated into a clearer and more refreshed state.

...

蓝田日暖

Some heart-warming scenes:

A blindman was walking on the pavement with the tactile stick. At a moment, he almost bumped into a pole. A traffic policeman on the motorcycle found him, and he felt a bit worried and decided to accompany him until he went across the street. Until he embarked on a safe place.

My niece strongly wanted to own that pink fluffy toy bunny, but it was a claw machine shop, and she had to claw and get it through the machine. And then as my niece was playing the game, the shop keeper stood next to her, and would open the door to re-position the toy for my niece to more easily get it. And the interesting, a little drama-like scene was: my niece finally got it just when all the game coins were gone.

The house was on fire and a little boy was stuck in the balcony, crying. Quickly some neighbours and passers-by came together to seek solutions. Someone brought a ladder and the other got tools to open the security window. A flexible delivery man joined in and together they saved this little boy.

...

蓝田日暖

I watched an interesting movie, and what impressed me most were some bullet comments such as: This is just a movie, and reality is very different. In reality, this wouldn't happen. In reality, they must give in...

I am very sure the opposite must exist, no matter how prevail these phenomena described by the bullet comments are. For me, the thing is: What do I want to believe? What's the point of repeating these thoughts which are actually not 100% ture?

I don't want to be in the scenario the leads were, but if I was there, I would prefer to be like them, based upon my present life intentions and belief systems. At some time point, fighting back could be the most powerful, beneficial choice, though I might spent some time dealing with its side effect. However, all in all, it's worthwhile.

Thanks to my ability to ignore as much as I can aspects I don't like, and thanks to my deliberately intentions to focus upon what I truly desire, I don't experience that much dramatic stuff in my life, in my family. I easily see genuine care, love and respect among people. I myself become more allowing and willing to assist, while these lovely aspects already flourish in people around me. I see them in my parents, my siblings, my cousins, my aunts, and so on. I just guided a person in the Luckin to get her coffee with the coupon. So, many years ago, I often thought my mom had a short temper, and felt frustrated that she couldn't stop complaining. Now, she is so different in my eyes now. She would genuinely appreciate other people. She complains much much less. She likes making snacks and sending them to relatives and friends. She has fun doing things alone like singing on a mic or watching poker games on the TV, or enjoys her time hanging around with her friends. She is so tender and loving holding her grandchildren. She has great harmony with my father. They care for each other and often do things together, willingly. He drives her to work. He accompanies her in the hospital. He washes vegetables while she is cooking...

Because all of these memories I have collected about my mom, it becomes easier and easier for me to go back to my appreciation of her, to let go of my anger toward her sometimes, though we may still quarrel--I allow myself to quarrel when it's needed.

蓝田日暖

白色和紫色玉兰花开出了各种形态，有含苞的，有已盛放的，有半颓的，走过转角才发现，也有纯粉色的，从围墙内探出头来，处于待放状态。喜欢汉服的人越来越多，年龄分布也愈来愈广，在我前方十来个女人盘着发髻，簪着步摇，下面穿着各色马面裙，正聚在一起商量着什么。

来到瑞幸咖啡店，做咖啡的妹子和饿了么小哥正在聊天，小哥手不带停的，正帮着她整理外卖杯垫。我把保温杯放在柜台上，顺便提醒妹子：我改喝冰的了，是加冰的，不是去冰的。我想喝冰的生椰丝绒拿铁。她朝我一笑，一点头，忙活去了。

爱奇艺会员刚过期，暂时没想续费，大部分想看的电影腾讯上也有，最近看的最多的是动作片、破案片、缉匪片。看《莫斯科行动》，稍加代入就能从昏昏欲睡的状态中清醒过来，不管代入的是哪一方，一想到正在进行的是殊死搏斗，一不小心就见不到明天的太阳，人就紧张专注起来了。身处此种险境，你不得使出全部的力气，竭尽全部的脑力？此时，肾上腺素奔涌，在flight or fight之争中，只剩下fight这个选项，此刻，前半生的训练终于派上用场了。然而，平时若只是糊弄，这下就惨了，在这样激烈的生死之战中分分钟完蛋。看到后来，不得不佩服张涵予和刘德华，虽然不能和那些专业的武打演员比，两个人的动作戏还是比较利落的，身形也很矫健，状态保持得很不错。

听歌就听歌，我极少看网易云的评论，但重新回归《昆明湖》的时候，我对那1万加的评论产生了好奇。第一次发现这首歌时我是震撼的，我以为是近期出的，一查竟然是18年前的。用百听不厌这个词来形容我的听感很妥帖，这首歌我确实听了不下一百次。评论区里满是对后弦的欣赏，谈到了这首歌在编曲、作词上的精妙，我没法对细节做出评价，因为我没有研究过这首歌的细节，也并不清楚具体的歌词，我听的就是它给我的整体感觉。对我来说，无论是单独听，还是当背景乐，这都是一首可以常听不厌的好歌。

看阿星在陕北绥德探店，特感新鲜。这早餐未免太丰盛了吧！我所在的地方，早餐选择感觉挺有限的。其实也不是，只是我自己觉得选择很有限，因为我想吃的很少，最后多半为了方便或对肠胃好选择白粥和素馅饺，或者在KFC点咖啡和烧饼吐司之类的。可看看阿星在吃什么？他在吃羊杂碎汤，油旋，猪头肉和牛板肠。如果他不说这是早餐，我只会把它们当成是一顿丰盛的中餐或晚餐。油旋这个词我第一次接触，如果在我这边大街上看到，我应该会直接叫它烧饼或者（油）烤饼。我并不特别想吃这些食物，但我确实对不同地区的饮食文化很感兴趣。早餐吃肉菜，我见得不多，我家附近卖的早餐主要是：包子，饺子，白粥，豆浆，糯米饭，炒粉丝，山东杂粮饼，缙云烧饼，鸡蛋饼，油条，小馄饨。

蓝田日暖

突然想起了小学野炊的事，集体外出旅游的场景却模糊不已，只剩下：出发前兴奋得睡不着，车上吐惨了，想象与现实相差太大导致完全失望。最后，去哪玩了，玩了什么，通通不记得了。

野炊不一样，印象深刻。锅碗瓢盆必须分担一部分，熟菜至少要准备一个，免得到时候煮出来的东西半生不熟，全体饿肚子。老师带队，煞有介事，非常认真，一行人顶着烈日，背包叮当作响，走在山间小道上，不时询问老师多久才到。

这虽然是我们第一次野炊，应该不是老师们的第一次，他们终于把我们带到了一处能做饭的地方，山中小溪边的石子滩。这条溪说小也不小，又是活水，舀水做饭肯定是没问题的。到处都是大大小小的石头，搭灶也容易。就是木柴需要走远一点去捡拾。我们立刻行动起来，早就分好组了，有人选平整的石块搭灶，有人去捡柴，捡着捡着打闹起来，被搭灶的看到就是一顿输出，叫他们别浪费时间。

成就感分批次而来：灶台稳稳搭好，是一个里程碑；接下来就是生火了，有人手忙脚乱，被烟熏出眼泪，好不容易才稳住了火苗，有人潇洒惬意、一击成功，但到底是蒸上饭、做上菜了，第二波满足感。接下来，就显出差异来了，平时会在家烧饭的人站得特别自信，铲子挥得无比科学，快慢得当，游刃有余。其余的人，笨拙使劲，铲子都快把菜压扁压蔫了，还在问旁边的人要不要加水、什么时候加水。一片嘈杂声中，终于开饭了，一半的饭干巴夹生，一半的菜不是糊了就是不够熟，虽然做饭时是分组的，吃饭时，我们吃了大锅饭，不然有几组得饿扁。事实证明，自己动手感觉确实不一样，大部分人都吃得挺香。

蓝田日暖

在山上摘了些树莓，往下小跑时差点踩到什么，定睛一看，差点吓尿，竟然是一条两头蛇。小跑立刻变成狂奔，到了家里，立刻把这大消息分享给大人，他们先半信半疑，一刻钟不到转为不信，气得我要把他们带去原地，证明我所言非虚。最后当然没去，都这么一会了，估计早游走了，再说，如果是真的，被咬一口怎么办？

其实我也常在山里走动，但除了那次，并没有遇见过蛇，不知道算不算运气好，因为我同学碰见过，还被咬了脚背。治疗过程让围观的我们皱眉呲牙。赤脚医生好像是用个尖利的东西在她脚背上刺了好多个小洞，大概是排血吧，然后在外面敷上了厚厚的一层草药。据说这样的治疗，后面还有几轮，我们没看到，也真心不敢代入。

我不敷药，但我经常吃药。周末经常挂盐水，后来也不知道脾胃哪里出了问题，要几个大人按住我，往我脖子上扎大针。完了，往家里拿一摞摞中药，每天必须鼓足勇气，屏息一口气把碗里的墨汁全吞进肚子里，麻溜往嘴里塞颗糖或蜜饯。回过头想，倒是挺感激大人的，就那个看病的频率，也挺劳心劳力，那时煮中药可比现在麻烦很多。周末，一般是老妈背我去村医院；后来，每隔一段时间，老爸骑自行车带我去附近的小镇复诊，配中药。

几年后搬到县城，看病容易多了，身体也强健了很多，终于摆脱了常去医院的日子。但又出现了新的突发病症，暑假回老家游个泳，耳朵里水没跳出来，很快演变成半聋状态。老爸带我去医院，医生非常淡定地告诉我，中耳炎，也不知道真的假的。但我在乎的不是这个，在他说完我的鼓膜上长了个泡需要戳破后，我开始心惊胆战。当他拿出一根巨长的针时，我的惊惧到了极点。鼓膜不是很脆弱的吗，他有把握只戳破水泡不戳破鼓膜吗？我不会就这么聋了吧。事实证明，鼓膜挺顽强，医生技术也非常到位，半聋状态持续几天后，我的听力又全部回来了，就是从此以后不敢潜水游泳了。

蓝田日暖

洗完头，四处看看，似乎掉了不少头发，但我知道这再正常不过，头发的旧去新来保持着完美的平衡，我对自己的发量一直很满意。多年前曾被秋天的掉发吓到，以为自己要秃了，甚至打算数一数一共掉了多少根头发。两三天后，用简单的推理说服了自己，掉发似乎一直都多，但发量却一直可以，可见新长出来的头发也多，肯定不少于掉发，否则早就秃了。自那以后，担心不再。

不知谁的手机开始放有声小说，音量不小，是我无法忍受的声音，迅速找到耳机戴上。我接受咖啡机的运作声，柔缓的音乐，婴儿的哭声，人们中等音量的交谈，但我真的受不了手机外放的轰炸式短视频和有声故事。如有选择，我会立刻戴上耳机，或者远离；我放弃努力，不再努力让自己接受这类声音，不再努力让自己在此种情境下做到淡定。因为我很难做到，通常越努力越愤怒。

很少买装饰品和摆件，因为我不是那种会花时间去细致欣赏把玩它们的人，但这不妨碍我通过各种途径单次或多次地用眼睛去欣赏它们。咖啡店门口挂起了一排排的古风灯笼，国风式样，三四种彩绘，图中人物有着华丽京剧服的，也有穿简易汉服的。虽是流水线作品，但它们的美并不因此而打折。观察完那些颇有气质的彩画，我上手轻轻触摸了灯罩，有些好奇它们的材质——凭触感应该是某种布料。每到江边，我依然会看一看那座仿古水榭，明清风格，其实随处可见，但在我眼中，这建筑样式本身包含的独特气质并未因可轻易复制而丢失。我特别喜欢看它的四角卷檐和卷檐下悬着的黄铜檐铃，沉静而优雅。。。。。。

我的双眼和头脑短暂地被美的存在所吸引，但不久我的注意力很自然地转向他处：音乐，故事，一些动态的过程，或简单或复杂的情感起伏，味觉，等等。也许，我的视界会关联上新的感受，与美关系不大，我会有意思地观察起人们的生活日常：早起的钓鱼人，在他身边的小尺寸迷彩帐篷；在码头上蹲着吃泡面的渔夫；坐在塑料凳上补网的他的同伴；江边大石上站着拧毯子的一对夫妻。。。。。。

蓝田日暖

这温度变化，简直了，终于脱掉了秋裤。

按照计划提前几个小时睡了，结果应该算是一夜无眠，大概是睡觉前喝的那杯咖啡起了作用。既然睡不着，就闭着眼睛，做一些较为轻快的思考。除了眼睛，身体其余部分都休息好了，虽然深度睡眠没多久，但随着鸟鸣声越来越响亮，我的困意彻底消失，就想起床，甚至开始规划这一天的具体事项。按照以往的经历，如果我连续三天睡前喝咖啡，身体会习惯这一变化，做出新的调整，咖啡的夜间醒脑作用会消失，我得以安睡。我永远不会小看人体的适应力与修复力，毕竟我曾经失眠到以为自己会死掉，结果也没有，问题解决之后，睡眠不要太好。

高定，高级客户定制，量体裁衣，我喜欢这些概念。我看着某演员的身形，就觉得他比较需要高定，他的身材很好，人也高，宽肩窄腰，但和大部分男模特的身材不一样，他的肩膀特别宽，有人说他都可以算是四开门了。这样说来的话，成衣里面，肩膀合适的衣服穿在他身上，其他部分可能就会晃荡，总而言之，不会那么贴身。因为喜欢这些概念，我特别去看了一些时装秀，观察了一下模特和他们身上衣服的贴合度。然后，我就失去了兴趣，转而研究其他的量体裁衣。要想生活得愉快，就要学会在生活的许多方面给自己量体裁衣。得知道自己的好恶，自己的目标，自己的热情执着梦想，等等。

。。。。。。

蓝田日暖

雨小了。

雨基本停了。

看着牛仔裤湿透的下摆，我开始无能狂怒，在心里骂着脏话。骂谁呢？其实就是在愤怒地感慨自己的好时机。刚下楼梯就遇到了倾盆大雨。等了几分钟，感觉雨小了点，撑着伞进入雨帘，为此还特地回家拿了把大的雨伞。走了几步，差点被风刮倒，雨是小了，但架不住风大，雨水一个劲往我腿上扑，但我只能拯救上半身。就这么艰难地顶风前行，五六分钟后，目的地近在眼前时，开太阳了！雨停了！对，就是这么巧，我就凑准了这个时机出了门，把自己浇个半湿。提前五六分钟，或者再晚个几分钟，都不至于走这一遭。切！



（以下有电视剧《追风者》剧透）

为了《追风者》续了爱奇艺，每日追更新中，近来少有的体验。最有趣的是观剧过程中产生的一些事前不曾预料到的直接反应，比如看第一集时，我就被沈近真酷到了。看她在高台上手一掰一挪，利落地换狙击枪子弹时，我充满了欣赏之情：画面很美！所以我立刻拖进度条，又看了一遍。当地下党接头人在咖啡店被国民党侦缉队包围时，我又被酷到了。因为我以为在这样的场景下，他肯定会很快被捕获，然后遭遇严刑拷打，这是我基于以往看剧经验的预设，但我显然低估了这位同志的能力，他反应迅速，武力值够顶，一番激烈较量之下，硬是突出重围，撑到了下一个环节。虽然没有逃过死亡，却比当场被捕的结局好多了。我突然觉得这样才比较合理，艰巨的任务就该由有胆有谋有准备有武力的人去承担，即便任务失败，也不至于失败得太过。研究完自己喜欢这幕场景的理由后，我重温了它。

最新几集迎来了黄秘书——嫉妒男主给他穿小鞋的角色——的高光时刻。人家确实嫉妒得有点小人，但业务能力是真的强，敬业也是真的敬业，敢不顾自身安危勇敢完成领导的嘱托。这样的高光时刻就帮着塑造了一个饱满的人物形象，合逻辑，合情理，不出戏。这让我想到了某剧很出戏的一个场景，《猎冰》中的阿龙在痛苦地把自己女友扔下海之后没多久，就开始毫无负担地在餐桌上大吃特吃了，整个人松弛无比，看不出任何的伤心痛苦纠结。这样的人设过于割裂，使我不知如何评价这个角色。这一幕实在不该如此设计，不符合人物性格与情感的逻辑，看得我很出戏。不过，这部剧让人出戏的地方太多了，出着出着就不想往下看了。
。。。。。。

蓝田日暖

I keep on benefiting by Bank of China and E-CNY. These apps continually offers me discounts so that I can buy KFC breakfast at a cheaper price on a daily basis. This morning, I enjoyed congee, egg omelet and hash browns. I decided to take in more vitamin c, and therefore I bought hot orange vitaminc Americano in the Luckin. Though having a runny nose, I kept clear-minded and energetic.

I always stay in lovely physical spaces. In these supportive environments, I can easily focus my mind upon things I deliberately choose. I efficiently do what I like, what ring my bells. No one bothers me. I am devoted to thoughts, words and deeds that greatly benefit me. The sound environment is wonderful. It's either quiet or emitting pleasing sounds like songs or bird chirping.

I have abundant free consecutive time to explore subjects of importance or interest to me. I calm down, breathe deeply and begin to ponder upon and list desired human relationships and interactions. I remember, imagine and depict:

I allow more. I understand more. I had new thoughts about his getting drunk. Simple judgment, simply seeing things as right or wrong, doesn't help. For my own sake, I like seeing people and things from a lighthearted point of view, while wishing all of us the best. All good things are possible for us in future if the present doesn't feel so good. We don't need to buy into norms, but instead, we can make the best of where we are, we can turn challenges into wonderful life experiences. We can become more and more unconditionally lighthearted regardless of what others say. We are all mature enough to handle things, including difficulties, better and better. We are all becoming more independent, confident, happy, self-loving, resourceful, and emotionally stable. We control less, depend upon others less, and complain much much less. We are clever, smart and intelligent. We respect and appreciate each other. We are free flowing, not imposing stuff upon each other. We can share the same space with great harmony, doing our own things. We know that we are very different beings who have unique desires, dreams and preferences. We focus upon positive aspects of each other. We cultivate and hold our appreciation of each other. We are willing to support each other. We co-create wonderfully with each other. She willingly cooks meals for us. He willingly cleans up the house. I willingly buy stuff for them online. We complement each other perfectly...

I like learning from wonderful people or teachers. There are so many amazing passionate teachers who are sharing their wisdom in abundant forms. I can get what I desire, I can learn beneficial knowledge and wisdom from them with such a happy, eager mood. There is not a thread of superiority or inferiority within this teaching and learning. For both parts benefit from the interaction. One is happily teaching and the other is happily learning and receiving. This kind of teaching and learning is abundant in my life. I ONLY focus upon this kind of interaction, teaching and learning, helping and being helped, caring and being cared, for this is what I desire. For me, this is the most healthy, beneficial to all parts interaction/co-creation. There are people who want help in some aspects, while there are people who want to demonstrate their passion and mastery skills in those aspects. They are perfect matches. I adore perfect matches. I purposefully increase perfect matches in my life. The more I do so, the less I encounter other kinds of interaction/co-creation.

...

蓝田日暖

New

I discovered the movie last year and then this couple. The whole creations revolving this couple continually bring me joy. And I know how to keep my focus and emotions purely positive. Maybe one day they may subside in my life, but I will forever hold apprecation of them for the beautiful memories they have given to me.

I am opening up more and more because of my care for other people. I notice that I am willing to stand in some else's shoes and search for hopes, practical paths, solutions, and answers on their behalves. I find relief and pleasure in cultivating beliefs in them--believing their bright future, believing that wonderful things would happen to them, and believing that they are naturally and intuitively called to be who they truly are. My life experiences and a lot of stories of others let me know that we all have unlimited potentials. And I like cultivating faith in all of these:

There is always a path to live as fully as we can, even when it seems not so. It's alright for us to give up what are not suitable anymore though we might spend too much time and energy on them. Move in the direction of what we truly desire. Search for what we truly desire. Search for our unique definition of life's meaning. Lie down, breathe deeply and quiet our minds, when we feel tired. Or just get a nap if we can.

I tought that if I didn't get it, there would be no future to me. And years later, I understood how funny that thought it was and I purposefully gave up it. I didn't need it anymore though it still served me such as it let me kow more clearly what was truly important to me. I could be very focused in moving toward a destination and got sorta successes on it, but if the destination was not what I truly desired/liked, the pain must visit me. I just couldn't live like that for very long which was good because then I got to move in the right direction. Never was I so passionate about searching for the answers to the most important questions in my life. At some point, I knew that I just wanna live a passionate life. And then this desire led me further and further because my then emotional state was so far from passion. I was curious how I could live a passionate life. What's in the way of my passionate living? One thing led to another, and I learned more and more...

蓝田日暖

“我害怕一觉醒来，这片美丽的土地已经不在了。所有的野生动物，草原上的湖泊，那些天鹅，通通都不见了。”布满沟壑的脸被他的眼泪浸湿了。温暖的蒙古包里，他坐在生着火的中央炉灶旁，脚边放着一把有些年头的猎枪。他的小女儿静静坐在一边，怀里抱着一只睡着的幼鹿——几天前，他们发现了落单的她，便把她带回了家。

他的哀伤并没有持续太久，因为还有正事要干。最近他损失了好几只羊，有只母狼一直跟着他的羊群，神出鬼没，非常狡猾，再这样下去，一家的生计都会出现问题。黄昏时分，四五个牧民聚集在一起，每人手里都有一把家传的猎枪。他们理解冷峻的寒冬过后，这只母狼和她的幼崽一定饿坏了，但他们不得不杀她。

他来到湖边，成群的白天鹅惬意地在湖面划行，响亮而独特的叫声此起彼伏。他合拢双手，唱起了一首朴素的民歌，讲述的是天鹅的故事。也许有一天，这些天鹅会永远地离开这里，想到此，他一个糙汉子，也不免忧愁起来。

黄昏，浅蓝天幕下，他发出了狼嚎。他告诉身边的孙子，他们和狼族肯定有着相同的祖先，所以狼能听懂人的吼声，并应声而来。但这种相通性对母狼来说并非好事，她真的出现在了他们的视线中，迎来的却是几把猎枪的集中射击。这是一只身形庞大的狼，可以卖些钱，稍微弥补他的经济损失。在此之前，他已经抓到了她的幼崽，养了一个多月。他的妻子终于安下心来，不再担心母狼会因为报复而大肆捕杀他们的家畜。

少女带小鹿去湖边觅食，老汉带着孙子以及两只狼崽走在草原上，接近一片树林时，他解开了锁住小狼的链子，瞬间，它们狂奔而去。小男孩问道，“你们还要猎狼吗？”“不了，今年不需要了。”他笑着回答。

在镇上工作的儿子回家，抱怨着游牧生活的艰辛，委婉劝说他们卖掉牛羊，搬去镇上，可以开个小店，也可以进工厂干活。老汉对这一重复的话题感到厌烦。别人怎么想的他不管，他只知道，让他离开草原，去过那按部就班的生活，他还不如死掉。他已经习惯了游牧生活的种种，对他来说这样的生活辛苦却充满活力，更何况，他喜欢和动物待在一起，其中包括那些会吃他牛羊的狼。